How to Avoid a Romance Scam:

Thanks to online dating, it has become easier to meet people from all over the country and the world, resulting in many beautiful love stories. Sadly, due to its accessibility, it has also made it easier for scammers to find their victims.

What is a romance scam? It is one of the most financially and emotionally damaging forms of fraud affecting adults today. In 2024, romance scams cost people in the US more than $1.3 billion, which is a huge increase from previous years. [1]

It's no longer optional to know what a dating scam looks like and how to recognize and stop it early. In fact, it's a basic part of staying safe while dating online.

This article talks about the most common patterns and the warning signs of love scams you should be aware of. Additionally, we will cover the useful tips on what to do if something has already gone wrong.

How to avoid a romance scam — what are the most common patterns?

A romance scam usually follows a fixed structure, and once you learn to recognize it, it becomes much easier to spot.

Romance scam meaning: Why is it so damaging?

The romance scam definition is straightforward: someone creates a false identity and builds what feels like a genuine relationship with their victim. Then, they use that emotional trust to request money, personal information, or both. The person behind the profile is usually not who they claim to be, leaving the person both distraught and out of money.

The time and effort put in before any request comes in is what makes it work so effectively, as the victim ends up trusting their offender and keeping their guard down.

Researchers found that scammers build profiles designed to match a target's idea of an ideal partner. They study what their targets value and pretend to share those values.

The average grooming period in documented cases runs six to eight months. By that point, the emotional investment feels real because the offender has created a genuine bond with the person they have been deceiving. [2]

Usual scenarios of romance scams

Common scam dating formats include:

• A person who claims they work overseas (usually in the military, oil industry, or international business)
• Long-distance stories that explain why it's always hard to meet in person
• Quick emotional bonding within days or weeks of first contact
• Stories of tragedy or hardship, designed to build empathy for the offender

Common romance scam opening messages tend to be attentive and have a personal touch.

"I came across your profile and felt I had to reach out"

"Something about the way you described yourself felt different from everyone else here."

These openers are meant to make you feel seen. They work because they flatter the person and because most dating app users are looking for a real connection.

The damage this scam does is more than just about money. These operations cause genuine emotional harm and may cause long-lasting trust issues.

Victims tend to characterize the experience as a double loss: not only did they sustain financial damage, but they also have to deal with the sorrow of losing a relationship they perceived as genuine.

What are romance scam red flags?

There are many ways to spot a romance scam before it even begins if you know which behaviors to look out for. Knowing what to expect early gives you time to step back before emotional investment makes that harder to do.

Romance scam warning signs in profiles and conversations

The clearest romance scam red flags in profiles and early conversations include:

• Photos that look professionally shot but don't seem to fit with the tone of the messages
• A profile that doesn't have much personal information or that sounds like a generic description of an ideal person
• A strong, immediate interest before you've shared much about yourself
• Strong feelings expressed within the first week or two of contact

Other usual signs of online romance scam behavior to watch for are:

• Stories told at different times that don't always match up
• Not wanting to do a video call, with the same technical excuses over and over
• Pressure to take the conversation off the dating site and onto messaging apps
• Requests for secrecy, like asking not to tell your family about the relationship
• Any request for money, gift cards, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency

Romance scam text messages: what to be aware of

The romantic messages from scammers often carry a specific tone. The texts come in often, are full of emotion, and talk about fate, deep connection, or how they feel like they've never met anyone like you.

The volume and intensity of these messages are deliberately planned to mess with the victim's feelings and get them attached quickly. This is called emotional pressure and is a form of manipulation.

AMCIS research found that scammers purposefully make their victims feel uncertain and emotionally weak. This erosion of confidence affects not only those affected by scams but also genuine daters who become fearful of connection after encountering suspicious behavior. [3]

Recognizing online dating scam patterns protects both your finances and your willingness to keep trying.

How to avoid a romance scam when dating over 50?

Adults over 50 are disproportionately targeted, and the pattern of this has long been documented. The dating scam research found that the average grooming period before a financial request is approximately 11 months. [4]

For older adults, this period tends to be longer. Scammers invest more time in this group because the possible financial return is higher. Adults in this age group often have savings, retirement accounts, and property that younger targets don't.

Senior dating scams rely heavily on emotional manipulation. The scammer positions themselves as a companion who truly understands the victim, often referencing similar life experiences. They can bring up loss, children leaving home, major career transitions, or other common mature adult experiences.

Because the scammer has done a lot of research and designed themselves to be an ideal partner, the relationship often feels rare and important.

Tips on keeping yourself safe

Here are some online dating scam safety tips for adults over 50 to help them avoid unsafe situations:

• Never tell someone you haven't met in person about your financial savings or property
• Be cautious of anyone who goes from lighthearted to serious emotional territory very quickly
• Check to see if the profile photos appear somewhere else online by doing a reverse image search
• Let a trusted friend or family member know when you start talking to someone new
• No matter how believable the details are, any story about a financial emergency should be treated as a red flag

The best protection against internet dating scams targeting older adults is combining platform safety features with your own consistent habits, such as awareness and knowledge of fraudulent patterns.

Is Sequel dating safe from scams?

Sequel was built specifically for the 50+ audience with a clear focus on verification and moderation. If you know how the platform works to stop scams, you can better assess its safety.

There are two levels of review for new profiles on Sequel.

• AI-assisted scanning looks for fake images and patterns, as well as inconsistencies that are common when making fake accounts.
• If the account is flagged, a human moderator reviews it before it is sent to the community.

This combination deals with the most common ways that scammers use to make fake profiles look real.

The platform's anti-fraud engine looks at registration data in real time and compares it to known patterns of fraud. Before most of these accounts can interact with members, they are flagged.

This is an important difference from open-access platforms, where moderation happens after the fact instead of at the point of entry.

Privacy protections on Sequel include:

• profile visibility to only registered members
• using TLS 1.2 and TLS 1.3 for encryption
• automatic restriction of contact details in public-facing bios

Intentional dating also reduces dating app scam risks. It does not warrant 100% protection, but often, when members say what they want from a relationship up front and their profiles are verified, they are less likely to scam you.

The structure of the platform works against the typical scam dating format. However, you also need to be careful and trust your gut. If the person asks for money or any financial information, report them immediately.

What should you do if you have already shared money or personal info?

If you realize you have been targeted by a dating scam, the priority is to act quickly and without self-blame. These operations are sophisticated, and they target people who are emotionally open and trusting. That is not a flaw in your character, so don't beat yourself up and focus on reporting the fraud.

Immediate steps after falling victim to an online dating scam:

• If you transferred money, sent gift card codes, or shared your personal card details, you should call your bank or other financial institution right away. Ask about ways to get your money back if you were a victim of fraud, and inform them if scammers have gained access to your account.
• If you shared personal identification information, such as your Social Security number, address, or passport details, contact the Federal Trade Commission at reportfraud.ftc.gov to file a report.
• Report the account on the platform where the contact occurred. Send screenshots of messages and any information you have about the scammer's profile.
• File a report with the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov, which specifically handles internet dating scam cases.
• Contact your local police if you have lost a significant amount of money.

For those wondering how to recover from a dating scam emotionally, there is no easy answer: the process may take time. This is because the grief for your connection is real, even if that person never even existed.

Talking to a counselor or a trusted person in your life is a reasonable step, and you should not be embarrassed about it. Many people who experience online romance scam situations delay reporting out of shame, which prevents scammers from getting justice.

Reporting is important because it creates records that help police find and stop the same operation from going after other people. Your report will help protect others as well.

How does Sequel moderation handle scam reports?

The reporting system on Sequel is meant to make things easy and make sure that every report is read by a real person.

Here's how to identify romance scam tactics and report them on the platform:

• If a match asks for money or personal information like your address or financial details, you should report it right away
• It's important to report profiles with pictures that appear online under different names
• Look out for AI-generated pictures – they often look too robotic or too smooth, and sometimes have subtle flaws like distorted limbs or strangely shaped face features
• Conversations that push you to leave the platform or keep things quiet about the relationship should be reported
• You can report messages that seem scripted, don't make sense, or don't match what you know about the person

How to submit a report

You can report someone on Sequel by using the in-app reporting tool, which you can find on any profile or conversation. A summary of what happened is all you need to start a review.

After you report, a dedicated moderation specialist reviews the account and the flagged behavior. The platform's community governance model treats every report as a priority action item. The moderators will try their best to tend to every case within 24 hours, which is faster than the average time on many other platforms.

Reporting also protects other members. When you flag suspicious behavior, you prevent the same account from reaching other people in the community. The Sequel dating app relies on member reports alongside its own detection systems to maintain the quality of the environment.

If someone has already asked for money, make sure to include that in your report. The Sequel platform takes financial solicitation extremely seriously and treats it as grounds for immediate account review and removal.